Can’t reach an INFP? Or did an INFP ghost you? Truly, when an INFP disappears, they leave no tracks and even purposely hide from the world. Unfortunately, there you are, wondering, “why?” since you never saw it coming.
Frankly, this INFP trait is troublesome and drives people to worry and become anxious. Truly frustrating. But why do INFPs disappear?
A Disappearing INFP
One day, you’d be surprised INFPs file their 2-week notice and no one saw it coming. The next thing you know, they’re gone without looking back.
Or maybe, your INFP friend suddenly becomes unresponsive. They don’t answer calls and don’t even leave your message on seen.
They block calls, turn off phones, and literally go missing from people’s sight. It doesn’t matter how close you are. INFPs still have tendencies to shut off doors.
INFPs can disappear for quite a long time – days, weeks, to months. Worse, they don’t disappear just to see if people would miss them (although they also do this at times).
Rather, they disappear from exhaustion and emotional chaos. During this time, attention is the last thing an INFP wants.
Why do INFP Disappear?
Frustrations, stress from the environment, and internal conflicts may lead to an INFP disappearing. Emotional turbulence exhausts an INFP, hence, they shut off from the world in search of quiet and internal peace.
Moreover, INFPs are guided by their moral compass. That said, they would no longer care if their actions are irrational or not.
Once they feel whole heaps of trespasses against their ideals, they are urged to cripple back into their shells and protect themselves. In short, they disappear until they’re fully healed.
However, sometimes, INFPs may disappear and never return. If coming back to the situation would lead them to repeat the same draining scenario, they would opt to sidestep instead of returning back.
You may also like: Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy INFP Behavior
Why do INFP ghost?
Ghosting refers to the practice of leaving and ending a relationship without any trace of explanation.
And although I don’t want to admit it, INFPs are actually one of the personality types who commit ghosting towards relationships or acquaintances.
So, why do INFP ghost? What’s the reason behind it?
There are different reasons why an INFP may ghost you.
They need to clear out from a relationship but can’t come up with a proper explanation.
I believe INFP ghosting happens when they can’t explain well enough why they want to cut connections. In the INFP perspective, they see a trait, behavior, or aura of a person, and “they don’t like it”.
From my experience, I can’t find a rational explanation for why I wanted to cut connections with someone I dated before.
I once tried to explain why I’d leave, but I ended up going in circles.
Truth be told, INFPs can’t find logic and reason to leave because most of our decisions are feeling-based.
How do you explain, “it just doesn’t feel right”? I mean, how do you explain instincts or gut feel?
Because INFPs can’t confront people with honest, yet painful words, they instead leave without a word, with high hopes that their avoidance will make their intentions clear (although oftentimes, their intention doesn’t go through.)
When they’re being vocal about leaving, but the other person doesn’t allow it.
INFPs don’t easily ghost people they spent precious time with. More often than not, they inform you about how they feel.
However, when the other person disagrees and doesn’t let the INFP go, then these free-spirited INFPs are bound to do some drastic measures. Long story short, an INFP will ghost you.
Indeed, INFPs value authenticity. They stay true to their values, or else it will be agitating and self-destructive. Once an INFP feels that a relationship will no longer work, they leave to avoid prolonging the agony.
When an INFP gets extremely disappointed and fed up.
An INFP may possibly ghost you when they straight up got disappointed with your actions. Unfortunately, INFPs don’t suck up to anyone’s foul behavior, especially when they have an option to leave.
So if an INFP feels consistently offended, attacked, or abused, that’s enough reason to disappear from your life.
INFP’s Constant Search for Peace
INFPs value authenticity more than people could imagine. If by any chance someone trespasses our values, it’s like a continuous knock on the door telling us to not stay in the situation and follow our moral compass instead.
I know ghosting and disappearing frustrate many people. People think it’s selfish. I do, too. But really, we can’t discount how it’s an INFP’s way to maintain their peace of mind.
Before INFP ghosts a person, they overthink, cry, or cripple with anxiety. They’re in an emotional crisis – overflowing with emotions of disappointment, exhaustion, or emptiness – to the point they need to hide away.
They care, but their inclination to authenticity is so strong that instead of sucking up an unfavorable, abusive, or exhausting relationship, they ought to leave and chase calmness and tranquility.
Indeed, INFPs disappear to keep themselves functioning and regain their peace of mind.
That’s it. Hope this sheds some light on the reasons behind INFP ghosting.
Thanks for reading!
Are you an INFP dealing with procrastination? Grab your copy of the “Not Lazy, Just INFP” e-book. 🙂
I try so hard not to ghost people, but in some relationships it’s the ONLY way out. For 40 years I dealt with a childhood friend w borderline personality disorder (officially diagnosed during one of her many hospitalizations for attempted suicide) and her behavior and attitudes and selfishness finally became too much. Nothing was ever her fault, she was horrifically rude to the people who loved her, abused their trust and giving natures—and was in the mental health field to boot so she always knew exactly what to say to trick other mental health providers and seem like the innocent victim. I broke off our friendship in my mid 20’s and had a few glorious years of freedom from her drama, but my sister kept dragging her back to family gatherings and outings bc she felt guilty. This friend owes so many people (including a couple in my family) thousands of dollars that they’ll never see. She now announces on Facebook (I hear this thru friends—I’m off of social media bc of her) that I hate people with mental health problems (as someone with lifelong depression/anxiety and disordered eating behaviors, I find that incredibly offensive). I agree that INFPs sometimes have to ghost someone bc trying to have heart to hearts about what isn’t working in a toxic relationship is just completely disregarded. It only took 40 years, but this INFP has FINALLY learned to stand up for herself and her sanity. 😊
I am very guilty of ghosting but it’s rarely intentional. I put off responding because I’m tired or busy with something else. Then before I know it, it’s been weeks or even years. People closest to me know this and will harass me until I respond. Namely, my ENFJ sister, my ENFP best friend, and my INTP son.
There have been a few relationships that I had to leave and go no contact, but it does have to be a pretty extreme situation for me to purposely make that decision.
I understand your situation, Rob. The “harassing” part until you speak up is so true. I hope the situation gets better for you. Thanks for sharing.
thats ecxactly what i did in my marriage ..
ghosting…
This will be really useful for explaining myself so thank you, hats off to you. I’m currently going through a stressful emotional crisis, and occasionally when I feel like I am an issue, or a problem, I either just don’t talk, and ignore the situation. (I’m in school) or, if it’s an option, I’lol just pick up my bag and go for some silence. So… most recent case, is that I was playing with my friends, and their friends, but then their friends got mad at me, so I just left to a field where I could be alone, and recharge. But you really need the ghost period. If you don’t have that time, you feel like there is nothing you can do to stop the constant barrage of people,and resort to desperate measures (aka mental breakdowns)
I totally agree with you. INFPs need the calm to recharge. We need to have it, even occasionally, or else we’d have breakdowns and disappear.
Thanks for leaving a comment, Kathryn. All the best to you. 🙂