INFJs are the logical empaths of the 16 Myers-Briggs personalities. Despite their outgoing personality, I must say, they are the real-deal deep thinkers as they lead with introverted intuition (Ni) – a function that funnels scattered concepts into one conclusive path.
But because of such nature, along with empathy, INFJs can be overcritical about the things they care about.
Sometimes, it takes them time to decide what they really like. But with their dislikes? We can definitely grow a list.
11 Things INFJs Hate Without a Doubt
How to get INFJ to like you? Then, you probably need to understand their likes and dislikes. Aside from INFJs hate being told what to do, let’s list down 11 things INFJs hate without a doubt. Here we go:
1. Small talk
INFJs will rarely engage you with small talk because, long story short, they’re not up for it.
An INFJ may handle a little, but if you batter them with tedious small talk, it’s eventually exhausting and discomforting for an INFJ.
Want to talk about the weather? Okay. Still going? Oh no. Unfortunately, dead-end topics won’t interest an INFJ at all.
Instead, INFJs crave deep conversations. They want to talk about your career, struggles, passion, skills, point of view, and relationships.
They give you the floor when you speak as they aim to dig deeper into your core. They will ask questions and elaborations not to judge you.
Rather, they’re curious and plainly wanted to understand. At some point, some INFJs get annoyed when you don’t let them into your world.
2. Harsh Criticisms
INFJs have Extraverted Sensing (Se) as their inferior function.
Extraverted Sensing (Se) is a perceiving function that gathers information from the external world through the major senses such as sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste.
A person leading with the Extraverted Sensing (Se) function is usually in the moment, has a quick reception of their surroundings, and provides swift responses.
Unfortunately, our inferior function, sitting at the 4th cognitive spot, can become a root of insecurity.
Se-inferior function induces performance anxiety in INFJs. This explains why there’s always a prepared geek in INFJs who wants or even needs to predict possibilities.
INFJs want situations to run smoothly.
They practice a speech several times, master a performance, and dress well for the occasion.
Impromptus? How about, no? Impromptus require quick analysis and response, thus, it makes room for lots of mistakes.
Many INFJs get anxious about messing up or not doing their best. Harsh criticisms would not only confirm the anxiety they feel but also create a cloud of self-doubt.
They would go on and on, rambling about how bad they were, how they could’ve done better, and how they disappointed the people around them.
I’ve seen an INFJ friend experience the same anxiety. She dreaded how she was not at her best on the day of her presentation, and how the “not-so-harsh” comment of a panelist led her to so much distress.
Instead of criticisms, INFJs work well with positive support and constructive criticisms wrapped with sensitivity.
3. Insensitive and uncaring individuals
Normally, INFJs carve words with awareness and consideration. They bottle up emotions. They bring compassion and empathy to the table and avoid offending you in any way.
That said, INFJs dislike self-centered people who only think about themselves. A person who’s rude and insensitive gets under the INFJ’s skin.
(Man, you wouldn’t want to see their blood boil. I’ve seen INFJs throw razor-sharp words at people who they deem unfair and insensitive.)
So sometimes, it frustrates INFJs how people can be so mean and discriminatory when they, themselves, can’t help but care for other people.
But although INFJs hate the lack of compassion, they rarely hate on the person. These empaths always try to see the good in people, their reasons, and even their kind of upbringing.
4. Unexpected phone calls
Phone calls? Why do you have to call when you can text?
These idealists don’t fear phone calls, but they especially loathe them when it’s gonna be a lot of listening on their end.
Yes, INFJs are great conversationalists. But that doesn’t mean you should reach out to them all the time.
Moreover, let’s reveal how they may only pick up calls from specific people – maybe parents, and one or two friends. If you’re not on that list, then you better send a text because you can bet they won’t pick up (unless it involves work.)
Also, INFJs dislike the rushed responses during phone calls. As deep analyzers, give them some time to ponder about it!
5. Bad listeners
Although INFJs pose great listening skills and give the floor to you, truth is, INFJs expect to be given time for their fair share of ideas, too. Because they are keen listeners, they expect people to do the same.
But unfortunately, many people don’t exert the effort to simply listen to what an INFJ has to say. INFJs can be cut off while speaking, or are just waited out without receiving any purposeful response. Obviously, if you do this to an INFJ, they’ll be turned off.
6. Being misunderstood
INFJs are conflicted fellows. Deep within, they are thinkers and have concrete judgments about people’s chosen paths.
But on the outside, they’re also empathetic souls who would rather not speak about their strong convictions to keep the social harmony.
Contradicting, right? But here’s what’s mystic about INFJs that people often misunderstood.
INFJs harbor a logic overdrive, backed with strong intuition. They see what’s told and untold. With such a sixth sense, it’s a wonder how they “know things” without knowing how they knew it.
But most of the time, their predictions and hunches are right.
As an INFP, I tend to welcome my INFJ’s opinions as much as they respect mine. And damn, after a few months, their insights often come off as right.
However, not everyone is understanding enough to heed their warnings or opinions.
People misunderstand their genuine concern as being assertive and judgmental. Their advice is dismissed and, worse, grows some disconnect. It leaves them into a pitch-black hole – a feeling most Extraverted Feelers (Fe) would hate and overthink about.
You may also like: INFP-INFJ Compatibility: How do INFPs see INFJs?
7. Self-righteous and aggressive people
INFJs avert from the self-righteous who do nothing but hammer down beliefs on people.
Instead, what INFJs like are courteous discussions and not an aggressive argumentative approach.
On contrary, they can be direct, but are definitely soft and sensitive, too.
With aggression, INFJs won’t feel secure giving well-thought responses, thus stressing them out instead.
8. Conflict
INFJs hate conflict. From observing my INFJ friends, they don’t fan fires to brewing arguments, and neither do they jump into the bandwagon just to prove you wrong – especially when you’re friends.
They would rather keep silent and listen intently than dent relationships. Because of their Extraverted Feeling (Fe), harmony weighs more than asserting their convictions.
Extraverted Feeling (Fe) focuses on outward emotions where they value social harmony, people’s unity, and consensus.
It’s not that they’re afraid of confrontations. The Advocates could stand up to bullies to protect their family and friends. But in normal circumstances, conflicts bring forth agitation and anger and they would rather not indulge in it.
9. Emotional manipulation
Think you’re manipulating an INFJ? No, you’re not. They see through you, your actions, and your intentions. They pretty much know you’re taking advantage of them. But they tolerate such actions because:
- they like helping people or maybe
- they may have trouble rejecting requests
But consciously, they know it.
Once they fully understand how you’re trying to manipulate them, and they wanted to take action about it, then good luck with that. Sooner or later, you’ll experience a door slam from a fed-up INFJ.
10. Lack of structure and preparation
Schedules, plans, or routines – INFJs need such structures.
Mind you, even when you see INFJs a bit all over the place, they are actually “disorderly organized” as they keep a mental structure inside their heads.
Sporadic at times, but it’s because they try to accommodate multiple aspects of their lives.
INFJs need to prepare ahead of time. Unpredictable situations tend to cause them stress and anxiety.
You bet INFJs predict even the possibilities of how a conversation might be going. They see a discussion as more manageable and comfortable when they have prepared for it.
They don’t intentionally prepare, but with their Ni, it becomes an unconscious default.
11. Not getting alone time
With their Extraverted Feeling (Fe) function, INFJs need a good dose of social interactions.
But while they look outgoing and euphoric, truth is, INFJs like to be alone, too. If you’re keen on their social patterns, you will notice how they’re less reachable than you think they are.
They are true introverts, after all.
Alone time lets them self-reflect. Solitude helps them process the environment better.
Without enough alone time, they lose their nerves, are irritable, anxious, and moody, and could eventually take out their frustrations by being unintentionally mean.
They need time to get away, or else, they may even start to hate themselves and feel trapped.
Related Post: 8 Signs You’re Probably an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
Conclusion
While INFJs can project anger, hate, or irritation, INFJs are undoubtedly heartwarming bunch who carry many positive traits.
INFJs are not perfect, just like every personality type. But surely, they are empaths who extend a helping hand, are sensitive to people’s feelings, are altruistic, and are determined on their goals.
Thanks for reading!
-M. Mathias
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