Making friends as an INFP is like holding an audition. Many would approach them. But due to their critical evaluation, they will turn down many, and only choose a selected few. Does this look tedious? It is. Such a critical process is also the reason why INFP may struggle in making friends.
To be honest, some INFP themselves wonder why they can’t build friendships right off the bat. I did question myself, too.
Fortunately, I learned that it doesn’t result from shyness or being uncool. Rather, it’s an issue of building trust.
Even in friendships, INFPs seek a deep and meaningful connection with people they can fully trust, are compassionate, and sensitive. Unfortunately, in this extroverted and sensing world, like-minded people may be hard to find which leads to INFP’s attempt at friendship in vain.
But once INFPs find their circle of like-minded people, these cold and distant Dreamers are actually the most genuine, warmest, and nurturing friends you will ever have.
9 Reasons Why INFPs Make Amazing Best Friends
Here are reasons why INFPs make amazing best friends:
1. INFP’s friends receive special treatment.
Most INFPs aren’t showy about how they care. Touchy-feely? Nope.
With friends, they may joke around, laugh a lot, and may throw subtle touches of sarcasm.
But little did their friends know, INFPs take friendships deeply. They cling to memories and will reach out to keep friendships intact.
During your heartbreaking days, INFPs tell you they care and actually prove it. Even when no one’s looking, and no one else is there, they will stay with you.
INFP friends shower you with empathy and extend support in hopes to uplift your spirit. It’s not that they are people-pleasers, but with INFPs, real friendships take a huge space in their heart. It’s all in or all out.
But to anyone outside their sacred circle of friends, INFPs come out as selective on who to help. They’re not open to the crowd but are extremely generous and hyperfocused to their chosen friends. They have genuine intent to raise the closest people to their hearts and see them win at life.
2. They are your most moral friends.
If there’s something to learn from INFPs, it’s how they uphold values. Their honesty, loyalty, and kindness influence the people around them. It teaches fairness, compassion, and humility. It’s what they give, and it’s what they seek.
They are sensitive to offending anyone. Even the jokes to friends have boundaries and they apologize when they think they overdid it.
But behind their gentle and soft demeanor, INFPs are stubborn and nonconformists. Getting along with them will introduce you to the importance of individualism, being true to yourself, and independence.
3. INFPs are generous friends without them realizing it.
Maybe not with gifts. Instead, INFPs offer so much more – themselves, the time, skill, and presence. Keep their trust and you will receive tenfolds. They will allot time to friends who are in need, do tasks to ease the agony, and don’t ask anything in return.
Honestly, INFPs are passive friends during your little issues. If they know you can fix it, they’d let you handle it yourself. But during serious drawbacks, INFPs jump out to reach you out. They will be the first person to stand up for you.
They may give too much of themselves and don’t realize it. And when they help, they make sure it’s not half-hearted.
4. INFPs will stand up for you.
Shy? Quiet? Avoidant? Yes, INFPs kinda send off these impressions. But once their friends are hurt and abused, they will stand up for you, call out and confront bullies.
People don’t realize it but when INFPs have received too much insensitivity, bullying, and hurting, they become confrontational fellows. And unfortunately, people won’t see INFP’s rage coming.
5. They will not leave you during your lowest times.
I think this one’s unique aspect of INFP friends – they stay longer during your dark times more than the happy times.
Once you’ve reached the deepest point of life, these empathetic souls are all ears and will never leave you. They always check if you’re okay and see true to it. They are willing to share your grief and sorrow.
6. Solid loyalty stands whenever, wherever.
“I know you won’t judge me.” Countless times people have told this to their INFP friends.
Well in truth, INFPs evaluate you all the time, but never will they use your stories against you.
They will never talk smack about their friends. When they hear gossips about you, they instead use the chance to clear your name or do some spy work for you.
As long as you don’t betray them, they keep fierce loyalty in your friendship. It’s engraved in their mind that whatever they do, it must not hurt or tarnish your reputation.
7. They ask favors only to trusted friends.
INFPs – even when they’re having a hard time in life, they never ask for help. Why? Because they dislike showing vulnerability.
But once an INFP shares their heartaches, pain, and frustrations with you, that describes your worth in their life. You gain exclusivity to their deepest thoughts. That alone exposes how much they value you.
8. INFPs are empathetic advisors.
Although INFP is stereotyped as a sad and depressed personality, truth is, they are emotionally adept people.
If you need to hear honest feedback, their words will tell the truth. But it’s carved with sensitivity, enough to get through without hurting you. They can live in other people’s shoes, visualize the situation, and feel it like their own. They are friends who listen and understand.
9. INFPs cultivate depth in friendship.
“My stories are all transparent when I talk to you.”
“Keep this a secret. You’re the only person I told this to!”
“Whenever you tell me I’m wrong, I’m okay with it. But when others point it out, it drives me mad!”
These are some comments I received from my friends.
Once you made close friends with an INFP, you will inevitably be drawn to share your deepest secrets and darkest thoughts.
Maybe because even after you revealed your dark sides, they stay to hear them all out. INFP friends don’t back out from friendship as long as you keep their trust.
They ask, dig, and empathize. They keep confidentiality, validate emotions, and value your well-being. But what satisfies them the most is to see you grow and bounce back. They will try to motivate you, but behind the scenes, your stories actually inspire them, too. That’s why they stay.
This is what INFPs offer to their real friends.
I’m an INFP and have been best friends with an ENFJ for a decade. Although I know she makes friends as easily as blinking her eyes, she still goes to me to drop the biggest bomb and saddest moments of her life that she can’t open up to anyone. I’ve been supporting her emotionally, and she remains my inspiration with the many times she bounced back.
Honestly, INFPs are not the friends you can drag around, travel the world, or party all night. They are not the risk-taker friends who will do foolish acts and regret it the next morning.
Instead, they are reserved, controlled, and compassionate.
These Dreamers don’t live for the material world. Neither they are the gift-giving type of friends. But once you become close friends with INFP and stick your position in their hearts, they actually offer more than what people usually give – themselves.
-M. Mathias
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