Do INFPs have anxiety? It’s a tight question.
Anxiety can put its grasp on anyone. But I must say if you’re an INFP, *sigh* it’s double the torture.
So in this post, let’s discuss what makes INFP anxious, and let me share with you a few ways that helped me overcome it.
Ready? Here we go!
INFP and Anxiety
What makes INFP anxious?
According to a study, anxiety is the act of fearing an anticipated threat. Now, what do INFPs consider threats based on their cognitive functions?
How The Fe-Villain Function Induces Social Anxiety
Let’s first talk about INFP’s first shadow function — Fe (Extraverted Feeling), the Villain function.
Out of all the possible villains antagonizing us, we find people as our biggest threats. No one’s lifting a finger yet we’re already shaking like a leaf. Dang, it’s a formidable foe.
But it’s not that people are hideous, dangerous, or overpowering. Rather, it’s an internal conflict where INFPs have forebodings about antagonizing people.
To avoid clashing with others, INFPs hide any disobedience or resistant opinions in the shadows. Like criminals on the run, they squirrel away far from the nosy, overseeing eyes.
An unhealthy relationship between our Fi-dominant and Fe-Villain function induces social anxiety.
How The Te-Inferior Function Destroys INFP’s Success
Another concern is our undeveloped Te (Extraverted Thinking). The Inferior function. It’s INFPs’ obsession with keeping a good reputation especially in the public eye.
See, INFPs don’t fear the dragon in the lair, no. They’re trustworthy comrades who unsheathes their sword and goes *shing shing* to protect their beat up friends.
They’re the real-deal, selfless heroes.
However, despite their quiet and deep-seated courage, the source of INFP’s anxiety is rather trivial.
Instead of the fiery dragon, do you know what they fear the most? Proving their skills.
Picture this. The dungeon mission is filled with challenges. What if… the “sword master” INFP gets in a fight and people finds out he’s oblivious and inexperienced?
What if INFP doesn’t live up to his title and be publicly scrutinized for incompetence?
Te is the rationale. INFPs with undeveloped Te inferior believes they have to live up to a standard, or else they’re a fraud.
However, their standard is perfection.
So the dragon is never the threat. The real danger setting off the alarm is the question, “What if they find out I’m not as good as they thought I am?”
INFPs have a heart of gold, a treasure chest of unlimited potential, but INFP’s armor against criticism is nothing but eggshells.
They can’t take any failure be attached to their reputation. That’s the biggest insecurity of undeveloped Te inferior.
Fear of criticism, failure, being wrong, and rejection… these are the destroyers of INFP’s success.
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4 Practices That Helped Me Overcome INFP Anxiety
Now, how do we deal with these anxieties?
How does someone who have much anxiety before, transform into someone who worry less and less?
As for me, it wasn’t because of the breathing techniques people told me about.
Maybe it helped temporarily, but what truly dissolved my severe anxiety involves a long, tedious process of transforming my perspective.
It doesn’t happen overnight but these practices can definitely help speed up your evolution from being a scaredy cat to an unbothered one who’s free of anxiety.
1. Always Show Up
Ever felt anxious even when nothing’s actually wrong?
Oftentimes, there are no clear threats. It’s just that INFP’s introverted Feeling (Fi) function quietly resists anything you do not enjoy.
If Fi rejects it, it’s probably bad, right? Yeah, no.
See, emotions can bend towards anywhere. It can be unreliable.
Fi can make a situation look terrible even when there’s no real danger. And sometimes, being emotional can lead you to a back-to-back losing streak.
If this is you, I encourage you to do one thing: Show up anyway.
Don’t be fooled by your emotions.
Who knows what you’ll conquer today? Who knows what chaos you’ll face and what lessons you’ll pick up?
Don’t deprive yourself of the experiences, or else you’ll never know how “it” feels. Whatever your “it” may be.
Your life is shaped by the moments you step into, not the ones you skip. Not the ones you escaped from and avoided.
On the contrary, without experience, you remain trembling in the dark.
And ooh, anxiety loves the unknown.
So, if you want to overcome anxiety, you better come on the scene. Show up and see for yourself.
Have a commitment? Show up.
Work? Show up.
Plans with a friend? Show up.
Tough challenge ahead? Show up.
Try stripping the word “cancel” off your vocabulary. Cancelled plans should never be coming from your mouth.
The more you experience, the more you understand.
The more you understand, the more you uncover the unknown.
The more you uncover the unknown, the less you become anxious.
It’s the same with people, career, and relationships. The more you understand your craft, profession, your person, and the people around you, the less anxious you get.
But the question is, how would you eventually understand them if you don’t consistently show up?
2. Drop The Perfect Image
INFPs are multi-skilled. But sometimes, this desire to keep the perfect image goes overboard. They have tendencies to cover up their weaknesses, and that alone causes them anxiety.
It breaks my heart to see so many capable INFPs holding themselves back from challenges because they don’t want to be deemed stupid, wrong, or unknowledgeable. They fear embarrassing themselves.
However, instead of proving we’re perfect, why not actively look for opportunities to be corrected?
My dear, you can admit your weaknesses and you have to take them lightly. It’s okay not to be good at everything.
Nothing Wrong With Admitting Your Weaknesses
Tell others you’re not good in Math, so people won’t pressure you to ace the exam. You can even laugh about your mistakes and then ask people for help.
- I’ve admitted I’m not confident being an emcee, even as a teacher. Did I embarrass myself? No. People encouraged me, gave me a few briefings, and showed me how to engage the audience.
- Told people I couldn’t lead the group. They could’ve looked for someone else and that’s okay, but instead, my honesty prompted other leaders to guide me in every step.
- Once, I even asked my students to explain a topic. They delivered. One student joked, “Ma’am, you learned something from us again!” I chuckled and I said, “Yes! Thank you!” Did I look foolish? No, it looked like teamwork. They felt proud teaching me, and I felt grateful learning from them.
INFPs are already jack-of-all-trades. But one thing INFP may miss is a teachable spirit due to our Te inferior function.
But once you embrace your weaknesses and let people in, help finds you. Good people are still around, you know. They will offer help and advice only if you’re willing to accept it.
You have strengths, and you have weaknesses, too. Don’t be afraid to admit it.
When I finally dropped the perfect image, so much of my anxiety disappeared.
Life is surprisingly easier after that.
So… Repeat after me:
I am flawed and I’m not afraid to admit it.
I have weaknesses but I can show up as I am.
If I lack, I do accept advice and correction.
No need to pretend.
I am flawed and I’m not afraid to admit it.
Truth sets you free. Remember this every time you feel like hiding and lying, okay?
3. Always Prepare for Battle
If we’re scared of how things will play out, then prepare. It will help bridge the gap between the certain and the unknown.
The fight doesn’t start on the day of the battle, you see.
It starts way before.
And how you prepare often determines the outcome.
To be honest, most of my anxieties came from slacking off and coming unprepared.
Obviously, my lack of preparation bred anxiety. Going to war without any weapons felt like I’ll be the first one devoured.
In these situations, anxiety hits so strong to a point where I had to call-in to work and make up a bunk “I was not feeling well” lie.
And as mentioned in #1, not showing up only leads to more anxiety. Just by not preparing, you hit a domino of anxieties.
One lack of preparation leads to lies, then leads to self-loathing, until you’re stuck in a slump.
We must be wary of how our little wrong decisions today can impact our future.
Again, preparation is part of the battle.
Before running a marathon, condition your body. Before fixing a car, gather your tools. Want to ace an exam? Study.
The more we prepare, the less anxiety holds us hostage. The more we prepare, the more we have a grip on the unknown.
4. If You Think People Are Out To Use You, Use Them Too!
Just kidding. I just wanted some drama, but what I really meant was, “Help people—and don’t be afraid to ask for help in return.”
I used to struggle with severe social anxiety.
I was scared people were taking advantage of me. I’ve had bad experiences of people dumping tasks on me in high school, so from there, I steered away from responsibilities.
However, fast forward to adulthood… that strategy didn’t exactly pay off.
Every favor or request made me anxious—so much so that I ghosted co-workers, ignored emails, quit my job, and even disappeared from social media to hide from my friends.
One message was enough to make my heart race.
But looking back, I realize now that I felt disadvantaged because… I never asked for help. I was so focused on doing everything by myself, I didn’t give anyone the chance to return the favor.
I gave, but didn’t take. I denied an exchange and I guess that grew into some filthy resentment.
If you are the same as I was, I want to remind you: Not all people are out to use you. Most people want to give back, so take the chance.
You don’t have to handle it all alone. Anxiety have less power when you have people fighting alongside you, facing the same unknown.
If God Says It’s Not My Battle, Then It’s NOT My Battle.
Now, please allow me to share one of my treasured testimonies.
There was a time when I struggled with panic attacks every night. I was young, in my early 20s and haven’t dropped my “I should be perfect” mask. Still socially anxious, and was always running away from problems.
I was a thread close to booking a therapist, but before I decided to find one, I was exhausting all the free advice, lessons, and techniques I could get online.
From breathing exercises, motivational speeches, to self-help books — I tried everything but… nothing worked.
I still kept crying out of anxiety, out of frustration. This stupid heart doesn’t seem to calm down.
Until one night, in the midst of a panic attack, I locked myself in my room and desperately searched online for something—anything—to make my anxiety stop.
I landed on a video that reminded me of someone I had forgotten.
Yes, it was God.
It was my last attempt to finding a solution before booking a therapist. And He did not disappoint me.
Through that video, He told me, do not be afraid.
He reminded me that if the battle is too big for me, then the battle is not mine.
He said I will only need to stand firm and be still.
The battle is His. [2 Chronicles 20:17]
I’ve never heard anyone tell me such words. I thought it’s always my problem to solve and I had to figure it out on my own.
But God said if it’s too much, and if I have no more control, then it’s not my battle, let it go.
I let out a good cry that night and entrusted all my worries to God.
Truly, your lowest point leaves you no chouce but to latch onto something more powerful. I guess that’s what you call faith.
From that day, my search for a solution stopped because I felt… miraculously better.
That peace was one of my treasured testimonies.
“If it’s too much for you, the battle is not yours. Let it go.”
***
There you go. These are the 4 practices I did to consistently overcome INFP anxiety.
But the last one is something I didn’t do. That kind of peace came from a power beyond me, and I’m grateful for experiencing it.
I hope you gained some insights! Thanks for reading!
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