Do INFPs have anxiety? It’s a tight question.
Anxiety can put its grasp on anyone. But I must say if you’re an INFP, *sigh* it’s double the torture.
So in this post, let’s discuss what makes INFP anxious, and let me share with you a few ways that helped me overcome it.
Ready? Here we go!
INFP and Anxiety
According to a study, anxiety is the act of fearing an anticipated threat. Now, what do INFPs consider threats based on their cognitive functions?
How The Fe-Villain Function Induces Social Anxiety
Let’s talk about INFP’s first shadow function — Fe (Extraverted Feeling), the Villain function.
Out of all the possible villains antagonizing us, our biggest threats are… people. Dang.
No one’s lifting a finger yet we’re already shaking. It’s a formidable foe.
But it’s not because people are hideous or blatantly dangerous. Rather, it’s an internal conflict where INFPs evade antagonizing people.
We don’t want to offend. We’re sensitive to their needs and emotions. Despite wanting to stick to who we are, the call for social harmony is just as strong.
So to avoid clashing with others, INFPs keep their disobedience hidden in the shadows. Like criminals on the run, they squirrel away far from the nosy, overseeing eyes.
They hide their true desires.
As a result, an unhealthy relationship between our Fi-dominant and Fe-Villain function only induces social anxiety among INFPs to a point where they’d rather be alone than be with people.
How The Te-Inferior Function Destroys INFP’s Success
Another concern is our undeveloped Te (Extraverted Thinking). The Inferior function. It’s INFPs’ obsession with keeping a good reputation especially in the public eye.
See, INFPs don’t fear the dragon in the lair, no. They’re trustworthy comrades who unsheathes their sword and goes *shing shing* to protect their beat up friends. Real-deal, selfless heroes.
However, despite their quiet and deep-seated courage, the source of INFP’s anxiety is rather trivial.
Instead of the fiery dragon, do you know what they fear the most? Proving their skills.
Picture a dungeon mission filled with traps. Giant rolling boulders, haunted armors, or fire rooms? It could be anything, who knows!
What if… the “sword master” INFP gets into trouble and people finds out he’s oblivious and inexperienced?
What if INFP doesn’t live up to his title and be publicly scrutinized for incompetence?
Te is the rationale. INFPs with undeveloped Te inferior believes they have to live up to society’s standard, or else they’re a fraud.
If they’re a teacher, immature INFPs will try to prove that they are indeed one by delivering top-notch lessons all the time, as well as perfecting the code of ethics to the extreme, demanding respect, and, of course, knowing the answer to everything there is to ask.
Their standard is perfection.
It sounds amazing, and INFPs can be amazing teachers. But the sad thing is, if immature INFPs don’t continuously live up to that standard, they’re fragile enough to be eaten alive by anxiety.
So the dragon is never the threat. The real danger setting off the alarm is the question, “What if they find out I’m not as good as they thought I should be?”
INFPs have a heart of gold, a treasure chest of unlimited potential, but unfortunately, their armor against criticism is nothing but eggshells.
They can’t allow failure be attached to their reputation. That’s the biggest insecurity of undeveloped Te inferior.
Fear of criticism, failure, being wrong, and rejection… these are the destroyers of INFP’s success.
This may interest you:
4 Practices That Helped Me Overcome INFP Anxiety
Now, how do we deal with these anxieties?
How does someone who have much anxiety before, transform into someone who worry less and less?
As for me, it wasn’t because of the breathing techniques people told me about.
Maybe it helped temporarily, but what truly dissolved my severe anxiety involves a long, tedious process of transforming my perspective.
It doesn’t happen overnight but these practices can definitely help speed up your evolution from being a scaredy cat to an unbothered one.
1. Always Show Up
Show Up, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
Ever felt anxious even when nothing’s actually wrong?
Oftentimes, there are no clear threats. It’s just that INFP’s introverted Feeling (Fi) function quietly resists anything you do not enjoy.
If Fi rejects it, it’s probably bad, right? Yeah, no.
See, emotions can bend towards anywhere. It can be unreliable.
Fi can make a situation look terrible even when there’s no real danger. And sometimes, being emotional can lead you to a back-to-back losing streak.
If this is you, I encourage you to do one thing: Still show up.
Your life is shaped by the moments you step into, not the ones you skipped, escaped, and avoided.
Show Up, And Make Sure Your Experiences Are Not Aimless
As an INFP, the difficulty only leaves you if you actually learned the process.
Earlier, I asked, “How does someone who have much anxiety before, transform into someone who worry less and less?”
I tell you, it involves gaining knowledge and experience. And for you to gain that, you have to show up, but make sure your presence isn’t aimless.
See, I have experienced working in a corporate job. Although I worked every day, I admit I also learned close to nothing.
I struggled so much. My co-workers back then believed I would learn through experience, so they didn’t give me any orientation. No heads up or manual.
They just threw me in the den and decided to coach me as soon as the lion started attacking.
They told me tasks like, “Okay, all the documents you receive from Ryan should be given to Don.” Noted. But… I didn’t know what’s the reason for that.
Sometimes, I give it to Don, and it’s okay. Sometimes, I give it to Don, and they call me stupid. I honestly have NO idea what I’m doing.
After 3 months, to their and my demise, I was still blind about the process.
This is one example of showing up but learning nothing. Don’t be like me.
Show up, and actually learn repeatable and correct processes.
Show Up, To Uncover the Unknown
You should know that anxiety loves the unknown.
So to defeat anxiety little by little, you must shed light to that mystery.
You do that by showing up and getting more meaningful experiences.
Have a commitment? Show up.
Work? Show up.
Plans with a friend? Show up.
Try stripping the word “cancel” off your vocabulary. Be the person who keeps his promises and commitments. This, or don’t make promises at all.
It’s the same with people, career, and relationships. The more you understand these areas, the less anxious you get.
But how would you understand them if you don’t consistently show up?
How will you overcome tension with your partner if you avoid the issue?
And how will you experience new things if you never take new challenges?
The more you experience, the more you understand.
The more you understand, the more you uncover the unknown.
The more you uncover the unknown, the less you become anxious.
An Important Reminder, Though
If your job crushes your soul despite sticking with it for months or years… leave.
If you’re like me, stuck in a job where I was not learning anything, leave.
Either find a better job or create one. Life is too short for such unbearable torture.
2. Drop The Perfect Image
INFPs are multi-skilled. But sometimes, this desire to keep the perfect image goes overboard. They have tendencies to cover up their weaknesses, and that alone causes them anxiety.
It breaks my heart to see so many capable INFPs holding themselves back from challenges because they don’t want to be deemed stupid, wrong, or unknowledgeable. They fear embarrassing themselves.
However, instead of proving we’re perfect, why not actively look for opportunities to be corrected?
My dear, you can admit your weaknesses and you have to take them lightly. It’s okay not to be good at everything.
Nothing Wrong With Admitting Your Weaknesses
Tell others you’re not good in Math, so people won’t pressure you to ace the exam. You can even laugh about your mistakes and then ask people for help.
- I’ve admitted I’m not confident being an emcee, even as a teacher. Did I embarrass myself? No. People encouraged me, gave me a few briefings, and showed me how it’s done.
- Told people I couldn’t lead the group. They could’ve looked for someone else and that’s okay, but instead, my honesty prompted other leaders to guide me in every step.
- Once, I even asked my students to explain a topic. They delivered. One student joked, “Ma’am, you learned something from us again!” I chuckled and I said, “Yes! Thank you!” Did I look foolish? No, it looked like teamwork. They felt proud teaching me, and I felt grateful learning from them.
INFPs are already jack-of-all-trades. But one thing INFP may miss is a teachable spirit due to our Te inferior function.
But once you embrace your weaknesses and let people in, help finds you. Good people are still around, you know. They will offer help and advice only if you’re willing to accept it.
You have strengths, and you have weaknesses, too. Don’t be afraid to admit it.
When I finally dropped the perfect image, so much of my anxiety disappeared.
Life is surprisingly easier after that.
So… Repeat after me:
I am flawed and I’m not afraid to admit it.
I have weaknesses but I can show up as I am.
If I lack, I do accept advice and correction. No need to pretend.
I am flawed and I’m not afraid to admit it.
Truth sets you free. Remember this every time you feel like hiding and lying about your abilities, okay?
3. Always Prepare for Battle
If we’re scared of how things will play out, then prepare. It will help bridge the gap between the certain and the unknown.
The fight doesn’t start on the day of the battle, you see.
It starts way before.
And how you prepare often determines the outcome.
To be honest, most of my anxieties came from slacking off and coming unprepared.
Obviously, my lack of preparation bred anxiety. Going to war without any weapons felt like I’ll be the first one devoured.
In these situations, anxiety hits so strong to a point where I had to call-in to work and make up a bunk “I’m not feeling well” lie.
And as mentioned in #1, not showing up only leads to more anxiety. Just by not preparing, you hit a domino of anxieties.
Lack of preparation can lead to lies, then it can lead to self-loathing, until you’re stuck in a slump.
We must be wary of how our little wrong decisions today can impact our future.
Again, preparation is part of the battle.
Before running a marathon, condition your body. Before fixing a car, gather your tools. Want to ace an exam? Study.
The more we prepare, the less anxiety holds us hostage. The more we prepare, the more we have a grip on the unknown.
4. If You Think People Are Out To Use You, Use Them Too!
Just kidding. I just wanted some drama, but what I really meant was, “Help people—and don’t be afraid to ask for help in return.”
I used to struggle with severe social anxiety.
I was scared people were taking advantage of me. I’ve had bad experiences of people dumping tasks on me in high school, so from there, I steered away from responsibilities.
However, fast forward to adulthood… that strategy didn’t exactly pay off.
Every favor or request made me anxious—so much so that I ghosted co-workers, ignored emails, quit my job, and even disappeared from social media to hide from my friends.
One message was enough to make my heart race.
But looking back, I realize now that I felt disadvantaged because… I never asked for help. I was so focused on doing everything by myself, I didn’t give anyone the chance to return the favor.
I gave, but didn’t take. I denied an exchange and I guess that grew into some filthy resentment.
If you are the same as I was, I want to remind you: Not all people are out to use you. Most people want to give back, so take the chance.
You don’t have to handle it all alone. Anxiety have less power when you have people fighting alongside you, facing the same unknown.
If God Says It’s Not My Battle, Then It’s NOT My Battle.
Now, please allow me to share one of my treasured testimonies.
There was a time when I struggled with panic attacks every night. I was young, in my early 20s and haven’t dropped my “I should be perfect” mask. I was socially anxious, and was always running away from problems.
I was a thread close to booking a therapist, but before I decided to find one, I was exhausting all the free advice, lessons, and techniques I could get online.
From breathing exercises, motivational speeches, to self-help books — I tried everything but… nothing worked.
I still kept crying out of anxiety, out of frustration. This stupid heart doesn’t seem to calm down.
Until one night, in the midst of a panic attack, I locked myself in my room and desperately searched online for something—anything—to make my anxiety stop.
I landed on a video that reminded me of someone I had forgotten.
Yes, it was God.
It was my last attempt to finding a solution before booking a therapist. And He did not disappoint me.
Through that video, He told me, do not be afraid.
He reminded me that if the battle is too big for me, then the battle is not mine.
He said I will only need to stand firm and be still.
The battle is His. [2 Chronicles 20:17]
I’ve never heard anyone tell me such words. I thought it’s always my problem to solve and I had to figure it out on my own.
But God said if it’s too much, and if I have no more control, then it’s not my battle, let it go.
I let out a good cry that night and entrusted all my worries to God.
Truly, your lowest point leaves you no choice but to latch onto something — someone — more powerful. I guess that’s what you call faith. You hold on to God’s promises as you face the unknown.
From that day, my anxious search for a solution stopped because I felt… miraculously better.
That peace was one of my treasured testimonies.
“If it’s too much for you, the battle is not yours. Let it go.”
***
There you go. These are the 4 practices I did to consistently overcome INFP anxiety.
But the last one is something I didn’t do. That kind of peace came from a power beyond me, and I’m grateful for experiencing it.
I hope you gained some insights. If you’re struggling with anxiety, remember that you have to still stand firm. Do what you can. And if you can’t do anything anymore, lift it up. That battle is not yours. I pray for your healing.
Thanks for reading!
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Hey Mathias, I found your blog in mid February, and honestly it felt like I stumbled upon a map just when I was feeling lost. Reading it gave me a strange sense of being understood. Thank you for building something so meaningful. I’m pretty sure you could guess my MBTI 😅
Aww, really? I’m thankful this blog reached you when you needed it! Because that’s the purpose: to reach INFPs who feel misunderstood. Thank you for an encouraging comment! 🙂