How Do People See INFP? Is INFP Personality Good or Bad?

Do people like INFP? Some say yes, others say no. Their reasons? Let’s talk about it.

In this post, we’ll talk about:

• What frustrates people about INFPs
• Best things people see in INFPs

Let’s be honest. INFPs, for some people, are the most understanding and gentlest friends they will ever have.

But for others who experienced the INFP’s dark facets, these people see INFPs like a whirlwind – unpredictable, unstable, and distant.

A bit of a disclaimer: People’s impressions are subjective. Besides, INFPs are unique individuals that respond differently to people.

Although they root with the same cognitive processes, they still vary from healthy to unhealthy INFPs, turbulent and assertive, optimistic to dark.

More importantly, an INFP’s character adjusts to whoever they deal with. I could be the best person to my parents, but also become my brother’s worst nightmare.

Now, how do people see INFPs?

People who are good friends with INFPs see them as compassionate, child-like, supportive, and spreads contagious optimism. On contrary, others who frown at INFPs tend to see them as self-absorbed, secretive, and avoidant.

Let’s go a step deeper into this:

What frustrates people about INFPs?

People who say “I don’t like INFPs” are people who haven’t got to know them, or have dealt with INFP’s murky dispositions and dark sides. 

At some point, I also got curious… how do others see INFP? Are we good or bad in their eyes?

I tried to be unbiased as much as possible and gathered the list below based on how people perceive INFPs.

I collected them from forums, and from my personal experiences with INFPs (although I’m an INFP myself. Lol.)

Now, let’s start.

• Nonconformist (No one controls INFP)

INFPs may look gentle, soft-hearted, and gullible at first sight. But it won’t take long before they realize INFPs are lone wolves after all. They are independent and nonconformists.

Nonconformity has its perks, but it’s one thing that displeases many, especially to those who yearn for superiority.

Unfortunately, some people see INFP’s nonconformity as selfishness and stubbornness.

INFPs may go against the majority, push forth their ideals, and lean on unpopular opinions. They value authenticity to their identity and deviate from being a team player.

Because INFPs are hardcore on authenticity, one can’t force them to do plans they don’t believe in. Pep talks and promotions won’t work if they find no meaning in it. If an INFP wants to leave, they will leave no matter what.

• Too private (Tough nuts to crack)

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INFP only opens up to their most trusted friends. If an INFP considers you one, then you get an exclusive ticket to their warm, caring, and goofy character.

Unfortunately, people who “don’t like INFPs” are probably out of the circle and unable to get past the 10-feet high wall. However hard people try to approach and make friends with these free spirits, if an INFP doesn’t resonate with your values, they would keep their guards up.

Although kind, some people see INFPs as standoffish. For them, INFPs are “selectively kind”, serious, unapproachable, and bland.

• Self-absorbed

With introverted feeling (Fi) as our dominant cognitive function, INFPs can be over-critical about themselves. 

“They think everything is about them,” a guy from Quora said, which can be true at times.

Indeed, INFPs are self-reflecting types. They evaluate themselves a little too much and gain formidable knowledge about their shortcomings. Worse, they amplify them even more.

As a result, anyone who points out their flaws will be deemed offensive and a form of humiliation. Because of this sensitivity, people find it hard to crack jokes with INFPs, and feel the need to be extra perceptive around them.

• Too upright

INFPs have high regard for values and moral standards. For them, pranks, bullying, and discrimination are going overboard their values.

However, even when people dive with healthy jokes, INFPs refuse to jive in. For them, INFPs make them feel like they’re terrible people. They see these idealists as “too upright” and may believe that they never go wrong.

• Avoidant

An angry INFP avoids arguments and conflicts to keep the peace. However, cold shoulders are worse than verbal arguments and it frustrates the hell out of people more.

It’s an INFP’s coping mechanism, but people see it as misleading and guilting. 

I’ve once talked to a guy who had a fight with an INFP. He wanted to make peace but he ranted, “how do I make peace if she doesn’t even respond?” Truly, silence is worse than not knowing where to stand.

You may also like:The Healthy VS. Unhealthy INFP

Okay, now we’ve gone through what frustrates people about the INFP personality. Of course, I won’t end this without mentioning the best things about INFP. We can’t please everybody, but it’s nice to hear that there are people who genuinely enjoy our company.

Best Things People See in INFPs

INFP are attractive in their own ways. Here are the best qualities of an INFP that people like.

• Easily overjoyed and it’s contagious

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INFPs smile the brightest when immersed with passion or with the company of their beloved people.

“First impression towards INFPs… they’re serious and distant. But can really be goofy, vibrant, and extroverted with their friends.”

Truly, anything that catches their interest hypes them up. For example, their favorite animated series, book novels, or musical plays.

They become jumpy, laugh a lot, and display overflowing excitement. INFPs have cute and childlike temperaments within them. People love how their positivity transcends to the people around them.

Their joy, whenever they don’t have a care in the world’s opinions, is extremely refreshing and contagious. 

• Very supportive

INFPs are genuinely supportive friends. They treat your win as theirs, too, and can get excited way ahead of anyone.

Once an INFP acknowledges your skill and talent, they will keep on pushing you to develop it. INFPs will shower you with ideas related to your skill, and genuinely want to see you grow.

Funny enough, INFPs will hype you up like no other. Facts.

• Life-long friends

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It’s hard to get to know INFPs. Getting into their circle is quite a maze but once you’re in there, they treasure friendships for a long time. They invest emotions with you.

As friends, they will take your secrets to the grave, and protect you even when you’re not around. They refrain from talking crap behind your back.

“My INFP friend makes me feel valued. She tells me she loves me and is the only one who really proves it.” 

I read this in a forum. Yup, it doesn’t apply to everyone but I highly resonate with it. INFPs value friends to the core and may feel the need to prove it. The more years we go through, the more we cherish the friendship.

You have their loyalty as long as you don’t betray them. Don’t worry, they got you.

• Help people in secret without seeking recognition

INFPs dislike people who abuse their kindness, but they will offer whatever they can to people in need, regardless if they’re close friends or not. 

Although INFPs want to keep it a secret, the news about their good hearts spread out.

When I ask people about their INFP friends, I usually get a “she’s really kind” description. Like, they’re trying to convince me that their aloof friend is more than what she acts like.

As an INFP myself, I also received similar impressions. When conversations go deep, people tell me, “you know what, you’re really kind,” they made me feel like I was hiding my kindness the whole time. But maybe, I do?

People do notice and appreciate the humility and INFP’s disregard for recognition.

• Discovers and shares new ideas 

Spontaneous and creative, INFPs never run out of new ideas. Their love for gathering knowledge leads them to more opportunities.

I love the fact that INFPs are idea generators. Confident INFPs frequently share what they learned, and provides useful insights. For people, it’s refreshing and thought-provoking.

• Care for other people’s feelings

INFPs are sensitive about the tone, gesture, and intention of people. Because they’re sensitive to such, they apply the same treatment to others.

INFP rule: “Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do unto you.”

INFP will treat you the way they want people to treat them. Thus, they avoid offending anyone and are careful with their actions.

• Inspiring

When an INFP gets drawn with their passion and ideals, they can form an army that will believe in them.

INFPs tend to be optimistic, idealistic, nonconformists, kind-hearted, and independent all at the same time.

In the eyes of other people, it’s such a desirable and strong character. The visions of an INFP resonate with other people and would drive them to do better, too.

• Empathetic

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INFPs absorb their surroundings deep within themselves. They immerse in people’s emotions, sense how they could’ve felt, and can live in their shoes.

When a person’s in pain, INFP’s intrapersonal intelligence allows them to soak up the feelings and make them their own. Thus, this makes INFP great empaths.

They are good listeners who give sensitive advice carefully sewn to adjust a person’s current emotions.

Conclusion

There would be people who won’t understand our ways, but there are also those who genuinely enjoy our company. We can’t please everybody.

Nonetheless, we can use such awareness of people’s impressions of us. Not to cripple back to our shells, but to improve our ways of thinking. 

Would I encourage my fellow INFPs to change their character to win people’s favor? Of course, not.  It’s the other way around.

I suggest that INFPs must not cut limbs just to be likable. It’s exhausting. It is damaging to forcefully deviate from your beliefs. In the long run, you might lose the direction, and yourself.

But I encourage INFPs to be more mindful of others and think of themselves less. Get out of the cage and take a peek at other people to have better perspectives.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” – C.S Lewis

“As you care less about what people think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves.” – Stephen R. Covey

On the other hand, INFP’s creativity and idealism is such a gift, not only to themselves but also to others. I love how INFPs amplify idealism in the external world.

A confident INFP with a firm belief can push through anything. If only INFPs can switch off the internal critic, who knows how much they can do?

I’d say, A LOT.

Thanks for reading! Hope this post gave you insights. Take care! Much love!

Are you an INFP dealing with procrastination? Grab your copy of the “Not Lazy, Just INFP” e-book. 🙂

More about INFP:

• 5 Healthful Ways INFPs Overcome Procrastination

• How do INFPs see INFJs?

• 6 Powerful Self-help Books for INFP Personality

• How Do You Get an INFP to Fall in Love With You?